Mrs Hudson's Wall of Shame
by Arty Diane
Summary: Mrs. Hudson is very angry with her tenants, so she lines them up for a mug shot to go on her wall of shame. Will she get the photo she needs? For Johnsarmylady's birthday!


**For JAL's birthday, sorry it's late...**

**Inspired by John and Sherlock's photos on the web, you wont find the last one because Mrs. Hudson has it under her fierce protection. You'll find out why at the end!**

**I don't own the characters, just a copy of the pictures! ;) **

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**Mrs. Hudson's Wall of Shame:**

"That's it! I have had it with you two!" Mrs. Hudson shrieked, "I have been _very_ patient with you two, more patient than with any of my previous tenants, more patient than _any_ land lady is with their tenants." Mrs. Hudson took in a deep breath in order to continue.

"Mrs. Hudson…" Sherlock tried to interject.

Sherlock and John were sitting on the floor and were holding their rags midair. Sherlock's latest experiment had caused a major spill on the living room floor. Fortunately Sherlock had the presence of mind to quickly pour the solution that neutralized the first concoction, but the resulting reaction had left a puddle of foul smelling green goo on the floor. It was this revolting mess that the tenants were trying to clean up when they were caught red handed (or green handed in this case!) by their land lady who had come up to inquire about the stench.

"No! Not a word from you, young man!" Mrs. Hudson interrupted Sherlock's explanation, "This has gone for long enough. It's time for you two to go on the Wall of Shame!"

"What?" John asked incredulously.

"You herd me. Now, clean up this mess, then go and take a shower and put something nice on. I don't want to deal with you two while you're stinking and look as messy as your flat!" She turned to leave. "You have until noon!" She added nonchalantly.

"But-"

Mrs. Hudson did a perfect ballerina twirl in her toe tips and faced them, "Believe me dear, you do not want to hear the alternative to that." She added sweetly and then left their living room.

"That gives us exactly two hours." Sherlock said thoughtfully. He looked at John and suddenly the mass of what they had to clean hit them simultaneously. They looked down and started to scrub the floor frantically.

Exactly at noon, Mrs. Hudson was standing in their living room armed with a digital camera and a pair of glasses on her nose. She looked them over appraisingly. Sherlock was wearing one of his dark suits with a white dress shirt. John was wearing a dark shirt with Jeans and a gray knit button down vest hanging over his shoulders. Well, at least they had made an effort.

"Alright you two, go and stand against the wall." She instructed them. They moved towards the door. "No, no, no, _that_ wall. I want all posterity to see what you have done to my poor wall!"

As they moved to stand beside the yellow smiley face, John grumbled, "Sherlock was the one who made that!"

"With your gun, dear." She said with a hand on her hip and peering at him from over her glasses.

"That was ages ago!" Sherlock whined.

"I don't care, dear! Now stop complaining and stand up straight. That's it.", she said brightly and snapped a shot. John and Sherlock began blinking to get rid of the spots in their eyes caused by the camera's flash. They made to move away, but they were stopped by Mrs. Hudson's voice.

"Not so fast." She said while inspecting the photo on the camera's screen, John had his arms crossed and Sherlock had his left hand in his trousers' pocket. Both of their faces were expressionless, well, Sherlock might have had a slight frown. It was hard to see in this small screen, "This looks like an advert for bodyguards. Come on boys, Smile a little bit!" she said encouragingly.

She gave them a moment and snapped another photo. John had kept his previous pose and was actually smiling. Sherlock had both of his hands in his jacket's pockets and had a vague pleading look in his eyes. She'd have to inspect it further in a larger screen. That boy had an interesting range of facial expressions.

She looked up to see Sherlock moving away from the wall. "Go back to the wall, Sherlock. I'm not letting you go until you give me a proper smile."

"I don't feel like smiling!" He deadpanned.

"Well, think of something funny then." She replied.

Sherlock settled back on John's right. He raised his left hand to his moth and rested his elbow on the back of his right hand and began to think.

"Say cheese!" Mrs. Hudson joked.

"Do you think this will work?" John asked while looking at her holding the camera at the ready. She snapped another photo.

"Found anything smile-worthy in that massive mind palace of yours yet?" John asked the detective beside him, still lost in thought.

Sherlock turned to aim a scathing look at him and John turned towards Mrs. Hudson with a mixture of faint alarm and amusement. She snapped another photo.

"You know what baffles me?" Mrs. Hudson asked while lowering her camera, "How on earth did you make such a perfect circle for that smiley? Did you use a compass or a stencil?"

"Neither, I just took the can of paint and sprayed it on the wall." Sherlock turned and looked briefly at his handiwork, "I didn't pay attention to how the circle turned out."

"His great-great grandfather was a famous artist." John supplied.

"So it runs in the family?" Mrs. Hudson asked.

Sherlock's lips quirked in a small smile, "Not all of the family, no."

"You should have seen Mycroft's attempt at drawing a route on paper to clarify an address." John said with a grin. "I never made heads or tails of it."

"It was horrendous! I kept it as black mail material." Sherlock said with a mischievous smile.

Snap!

Sherlock and John rubbed their eyes after being caught off guard by Mrs. Hudson's camera's flash. "Ha! Finally, I managed to get a decent smile out of the both of you!" She said triumphantly.

"I still don't understand why you needed a picture of us smiling for your 'Wall of Shame'. Shouldn't we be looking remorseful for the damage we did to your property?" Sherlock asked.

"Oh no, dear, I don't think you'd be able to fake an emotion you have never felt before naturally enough." Mrs. Hudson said breezily as she left for her own flat.

Sherlock narrowed his eyes after Mrs. Hudson left their flat, "I have never seen this infamous Wall of Shame she mentioned."

"Mrs. Turner was here a few days ago," John replied, "maybe she's taking a leaf out of her book?"

"Mrs. Turner has not been in the housing business for long, the only tenants she's had are her 'married ones' and her son and daughter in law before them. I doubt she'd had any cause to start a Wall of Shame." Sherlock finished with a dismissive wave of his hand.

"Maybe-" John remembered the thick book Mrs. Turner had with her when he had opened the door for her on his way out. "Oh!" Realization dawned on John as to why Mrs. Hudson had insisted on a picture of them _smiling_.

"What? What is it John? Why did Mrs. Hudson need our pictures?" Sherlock asked him frantically.

John briefly debated whether he should tell him the truth. If he did, then there would be no stopping Sherlock from running all kinds of crazy experiments. But if he made something up, how soon would Sherlock find out the truth? It was a matter of sentiment after all-

"I think she wants to start a Wall of Shame from scratch. She was watching a sit-com with Mrs. Turner the other day. That must be where she had gotten the idea from!"

Sherlock furrowed his brows in thought for a moment. "We need to hack her computer and delete the pictures."

"NO!" John said panicking, "Not only is that a horrid violation of her privacy, but she would make us smile for another picture. And this time she might make you wear that silly hat you hate so much." He reasoned.

Sherlock shuddered, "Noted. No deleting the pictures." Then he furrowed his brows. "Do you think there's any way we can dissuade her from putting our picture on the wall of shame?"

John smiled, "Well, I might have a few ideas…"

Mrs. Hudson returned to the flat after having yesterday's photos printed. She went to her desk and pulled out a thick volume from one of its drawers. She placed it on the desk and started flipping through the pages. She looked at the pictures of her friends and family through the years as the pages went on. She finally reached the empty pages of her photo album and placed her freshly printed photo in them. Now she had pictures of her boys in her album too.


End file.
